Talking About Myself

I'm a lifelong resident of Washington state, living in Olympia since 2004 after growing up in the once-great town of Kirkland. This part of the country allows you to live a suburban life near the edge of civilization, where deep woods and large bodies of water are as close and accessible as the shopping mall. I love everything this geography provides, both the woods and the mall being equally natural and impressive to me. My heritage is mixed Northern European but my Swedish paternal ancestry provided my name and is a major factor in my identity. My family name was originally "Stenfelt" and it's fitting as a Swedish-American that it was Americanized to "Stonefelt", both identities informing who I am. I'm old but new.

Obviously I enjoy being on the cusp of different worlds and will find the opportunity to put myself there whenever possible, yet I'm not much of a risk-taker. If you catch me taking a risk, know that I've already weighed my options and the alternatives were far riskier to my personal constitution than whatever it is I'm doing that seems risky to you. I've always been a believer in letting yourself run wild so long as you have the structure in place to give it a purpose. You've got to build a foundation and keep yourself tethered to it, and only then can you truly enjoy the wide range of freedoms at your disposal. I don't structure my creative life but everything else about me is so firmly planted you'd think my legs went straight into the ground like roots. Every decision I make comes from a standing position and for every inconsistency in my life I compensate with a hundred times as much consistency. As the college kid next door once said, "I see you leaving your house and... it's not OCD. You seem... superstitious." That's right, kid. But I'm not superstitious like an old wives' tale, I just have a system in place and it works for me. Thanks for the observation. You made my day, gotta go.

Most of my artwork is done in black pen on white paper, existing somewhere between fine art, illustration, and schoolboy notebook sketches. Terms like these are of little personal significance, as "drawing" is a good enough description of what I do. I'm self-taught and cut off from the traditional art world, though I'm too self-aware to let my work be categorized as "outsider art." My creative ties come from long-term interest and involvement in esoteric music, transgressive art, and the natural connections the wide-open world offers. I like when people "get it" and don't like teaching people to "get it" so I prefer to cross paths through chance instead of jumping into the Lost and Found bin like a newly-single man "trying out" online dating. Every artist who hits you with an advertisement or hands you a flyer is another Tinder profile messaging you with the heartless insistence of a bot. You have to encounter me like a random battle in your favorite RPG. I'll always open the door if you knock but there's no doorbell and you've got to use your whole fist.

I briefly followed a creative "schedule" with drawing in 2018 for the first and only time and it was productive but vaguely emasculating, like I was changing my own diaper every morning or trying to build a tree fort when I'm already a damned tree to begin with. I go through periods of drawing regularly but usually I avoid it until I feel an urge coming on, do an incredible amount of work within the span of a couple days, then do the same weeks or months later until something is done. It's not uncommon in recent years for me to pick up a pen only a dozen times a year but spend eight to twelve hours at a time hammering away possessed by nothing in particular except the desire to keep the process moving. I didn't used to need a fugue state and in the past they were actually quite rare but now there's no point if I'm not in one — no fugue, no point! Full activation or nothing.

I'm in love with animals both wild and tame. A lifetime spent with cats and now my handsome Chihuahua, Batty, keep my domestic life in check. I come from a wonderful family of independent thinkers and my friends are honorable and imaginative people, never letting me "get away" with anything untoward while continually inspiring and reinforcing everything I value.

I've devoted my personal life to fitness and spiritual discipline for most of the last decade, but most importantly, I'm ruled by humor. The more absurd and cutting the humor is, the more open and authentic the world feels to me. I'm also a big fan of the NFL and my schedule is oriented around watching and thinking about football for most of the fall and early winter. I grew up attending all Seahawks home games with my dad though I'm also a fan of the Cowboys which invites the scathing criticism I sometimes require (and deserve) in life. The Seahawks always take priority, regardless.

Currently I'm doing research-based analysis of the Sicilian-American mafia phenomenon through Substack articles and audio commentary. The deeper aspects of the subject cover a spectrum of human life that isn't often revealed in mob movies and television, its dark nature and elusive organic development "speaking" to the curious and investigative side of my personality. My approach is incredibly niche and intended for those with a similar passion for mafia history, though I attempt (and often fail) to make this dense and detailed collection of information as accessible as possible. My Substack articles can be accessed here.

I take my creative work and hobbies as seriously as a "career" but I generally avoid the distraction of "marketing" my work or allowing it to cross into my professional life, preferring to work hard at normal jobs that intersect in no way with my creative world. Plus too many artists feel entitled to other peoples' time, attention, and money. I'm not opposed to making money from my artwork and see no problem with commercial art itself, I simply don't want that outlook to inform what I do, when I do it, and especially how I do it. Doing what I want to do when and how I want to do it, even taking a break from it, is far more "professional" by my own personal standards than any alternative. I'd sooner take on a sugar mama with a hot insurance payout than try to change my approach but I'll stick with working for a living.

I live an extremely compartmentalized life and enjoy being able to turn the different parts of myself on and off to fit different scenarios and situations while still representing myself authentically, just like Odin impersonating anything from a beggar to a fellow God depending on the needs of the day (and we all know some days require both). True and meaningful mutation occurs underneath the surface. I remain astonished and impressed with life on earth and I'm humbled by the time and place in which I live as well as the people I know. I worship the past and embrace the present which allows me to avoid thinking too far into the future. I can't imagine wasting any time.

When I encounter people, I want them to debate with themselves whether I'm the biggest loser in the world or the coolest guy they've ever met. That's also what I want on my tombstone: "We couldn't decide whether he was the biggest loser or the coolest guy. RIP." Pick a side, just don't put me in the middle. I'm neutral enough about my own existence for the both of us. And for the record, I don't want a tombstone. My life is my tombstone and I love living it. When I go, just stick a toothpick in the sand and walk away because everything's already been accounted for. All questions asked and answered, all ciphers cracked and every light switch dimmed for ultimate ambience. Every time I talk or write about myself I imagine I'm cutting a pro wrestling promo. Just read it in that type of voice then laugh with me. Sometimes being serious is more fun than any joke you can imagine.

Reconciling Two Worlds: It's All Nature, Baby

Born in December 1985 under a full moon, I came of age right as the world was shifting to digital dominance and through sheer curiosity developed skills in web development, graphic design, and other new technology. I explored digital art during that time mainly as a technical exercise, but couldn't shake the idea that my artwork was meant to be a physical creation. My personal taste is the greatest influence on what I do and I prefer artwork that still shows the residue of a human hand more for aesthetic reasons than anything philosophical. I'm not a "Luddite", I just know what I like.

Digital technology has remained interesting to me, more as a means of communicating what already exists in the material world than an end unto itself. Regardless, I've made it a point to accept all of it, seeing the digital world as another dimension of nature even if its aesthetics are not my first preference.

Having a website to show my work has always felt natural. I've enjoyed building websites for my ideas since I was a teenager and this one is no exception. It can't replace the hands-on experience, but I can't imagine a more convenient way to share my body of work with anyone who has even a fleeting interest in looking at it. I can do anything I want with this.

I've spent my entire adult life thinking about nature and technology, both in opposition and cooperation. Through deliberate use and honesty of spirit, I believe the old world of nature and the new world of technology can be reconciled in ways that are more constructive than destructive, more natural than unnatural. This "homepage" is a way for me to digitally communicate who I am and what I do in physical reality, though it's also an expression unto itself in a new reality that is no less an illusion than anything else in the material world. It's all equally real to me and our true essence will inhabit any medium even when we choose not to directly engage with it. Tell that last part to your girlfriend next time you're in trouble for ignoring a text.

I feel no threat from AI and in my view the artists who fear it know that "the jig is up" for them. We all know that hordes of artists are thieves who "cover their tracks" very poorly, so naturally they are threatened by technology that does what they do, simply better. Acting like a disgruntled union worker about it isn't going to save you, so figure out why you're doing what you do and surrender to the process. Personally I would never use AI within my creative world simply because I love the process too much. While it's always nice to have a finished product at my disposal, this is not a results-based commitment for me. This is about me being in the trenches putting my mind and body to work.

Nothing in the world could ever threaten that process even if you handcuffed me, put a muzzle on my face, and took my tools away while a robot prison guard illustrated technical masterpieces in front of me all day in a neverending display of ritual humiliation. I'd say to myself, "I can still work with this. The great adventure calls. The limitations you place on me don't even register compared to the constraints I've forced on myself for decades. I've conditioned myself to thrive under the worst science-fiction horror conditions you can imagine. It's all nature to me and if you think technology is bad, prepare yourself for the severity of Mother Nature when she's in her true element." You can't stop a mutant from mutating and any real artist should be laughing with sublime glee over the opportunity to cement himself in a world that feels this comically insane. What a promising challenge. What a fun, glorious ride.

Roots of Inspiration

I grew up drawing macho characters — cowboys, pro wrestlers, soldiers, NFL players, and comic book heroes — soon graduating to nihilistic MTV cartoons and enigmatic anti-heroes. Whatever I was interested in was reflected in my boyhood art and recognizable figures fit in perfectly alongside unique characters from my own imagination. It was all "guys" and "guy stuff", never considered the idea of doing art for art's sake nor took any interest in abstraction at that age.

During my teenage years I was fortunate to discover underground art and music — so-called "subcultures" — where the obscure and esoteric were explored in ways that were impossible to experience elsewhere. As both a fan and participant, underground art was like finding a real life "choose your own adventure" novel. The ideas in and around heavy metal, experimental music, and other odd corners of culture gave my natural inclinations an outlet that remains today. In addition to metal and dark experimental music, I've also spent twenty years exploring and collecting doo-wop and country music artifacts from the 1950s and '60s, this great American music informing some of my artwork during the mid-2010s.

My drawings aren't defined by subcultures or genres, but the cultural underground gave me a foundation I can't deny. I've met invaluable friends and received international support via these interests and I wouldn't be who I am without them. Hobbies and interests come and go, but the connection to quality people is an inspiration that never goes away. When you find people who "get it" you can't afford to swap them out for anyone else.

I still hear the echoes of boyhood and draw whatever I feel like, sometimes giving in to impulse at the expense of "quality" but in those moments I feel the pure pleasure of drawing. Other times I feel limited by the visual style and patterns I've fallen into over the years, even when the result is technically satisfactory. There are always trade-offs. What keeps the fire alive is when I surprise myself. No amount of experience can manufacture that and inexperience doesn't guarantee it. That's what keeps me drawing.

Some work I do has a story or meaning, though I'm not fond of making "artist statements" about specific work. Rants or manifestos about "bigger picture" topics, yes, but I have no interest in creating nor reading "artist statements." You can't even call it "Inside Baseball" because sports analysis is far more interesting than anything most artists have to say about their work. However, not making a statement is an artist statement unto itself, and so the dilemma goes. The idea behind a given drawing is better left unexplained, even to me, and much of it comes from intuitive mysticism, internal psychological patterns, and the border between the surreal and practical. It's where the boringly transcendental meets the magically mundane, which it turns out are the same thing — a real "sweet spot" and I'm right there riding that same wave over and over. Is that a "statement"? The simplest description of why I do what I do is that I get strength from both the process and result.

Boyhood Artwork: